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[Eng] 求評...

求評...

題目:Write a letter to the editor to object to S.Tam's ideas on banning mobile phones in public places under all circumstances.Give explanations for your stance

只求4...


Dear editor,

I'm writing to object S.Tan's ideas on banning mobile phones in public places under all circumstances.As we all believe mobile phone has been commonly used by the public due to it's attractiveness over the past few years.Being able to use mobile devices in the public can be considered as the most comfy way to satisfy ourselves.For instance,people are able to connect through the internet and chat with the other's all around the world.However,S.Tan's views leads me to address my opposite views on that.
To commence with,,the feasibility of this idea is not ideal.According to a survey conducted by a famous university,it reveals myriads of Hong Kongers won't let their mobile phone off their hands.In fact,mobile devices provides different variety of usage depends on the user's interest.For instance they can use it for entertainment purpose in order to satisfy themselves.Therefore,there is no doubt that people are most likely to seek satisfaction.If this policy is implemented,it would definitely heat up a controversy among Hong Kongers or even protest against the government to express their anger regarding of the ban of the public use of mobile devices,which would add fuels to the fire.

Undeniably,mobile devices are essential for most people,which is one of the most mandatory item in their life,implementing such measure is meaningless.

Despite using mobile devices may cause some issues in the public,something like noisiness.Causing noise with their own mobile devices would indeed disturb one another.However,people have the right to whether lower it's noise as they are using it in the public.If such minor issue is one of the factors of banning mobile devices in the public,the government should think twice before making such significant decision.

Using mobile in some places should be banned to a certain extent,but not all.

Places like cinemas requires the audience to stay silent and prohibit misbehaving actions like talking to the phone loudly.It is understandable that banning mobile devices in the cinema could completely reduce the distraction to the audience.Nevertheless,it is just unreasonable to ban mobile phones in public under all circumstances.Imagine people without it that are needed in help,such critical situation would make them feel insecure.Especially for those who are unable to contact their parents or friends.There is no telling what would happen when they do not have their mobile phone with them.

In addition,,decisions are not just only for the government to make,but also the citizens in Hong Kong.

Hong Kong is a well-developed place,citizens have the right to express their opinion since Hong Kong has the freedom speech of law.Therefore,the law of banning mobile phones in public may not be implemented through the public.

Overall,banning mobile phones in public should not be implemented.I request a clear reply from S.Tan and hope he can reconsider about this matter.

Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong
   

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[隱藏]
oh well, 題外話,S Tan係邊個**?

至於你這篇文,看得出你是極用心修改過,才放上來的,但是個人對於你的真正實力,實在非常好奇。大多數的句子結構正確,但少部分句子出錯... 而且是錯得非常離譜,所以我好想知道,如何你限時之內作一篇文,會是甚麼程度。


Despite using mobile devices may cause some issues in the public,something like noisiness.
[比較這一句正確的句子:If such minor issue is one of the factors of banning mobile devices in the public,the government should think twice before making such significant decision. 我不知道為甚麼你會寫錯despite那一句]

However,people have the right to whether lower it's noise as they are using it in the public.
[To-infinitives都可以無verb...]

Especially for those who are unable to contact their parents or friends.
[無端端它又會獨立成了一句句句子...?]

.Imagine people without it that are needed in help,such critical situation would make them feel insecure.
[甚麼are needed in help?????]

句式大致上沒有其他事了,我一會再執文法和用字。

仲有...你中幾?
自學英文無難度!Learning English ON YOUR OWN!
Autodidact 自學者

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As we all believe mobile phone has been commonly used by the public due to it's attractiveness over the past few years.

mobile phones最好有s啦...

Undeniably,mobile devices are essential for most people,which is one of the most mandatory item in their life,
--> one of the most mandatory items

which跟在people後面...?! 你的mobile devices最後與which連在一起...


For instance,people are able to connect through the internet
connect --> connect one another

chat with the other's all around the world
chat with people coming from different places around the world

,the feasibility of this idea is not ideal
-->..... is low

Hong Kong has the freedom speech of law.
--> Hong Kong has freedom of speech
In fact,mobile devices provides different variety of usage depends on the user's interest.
--> depending on.....


banning mobile devices in the cinema could completely reduce the distraction to the audience
--> banning... could minimize distraction to the audience
自學英文無難度!Learning English ON YOUR OWN!
Autodidact 自學者

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回覆 3# autodidactsara 的帖子

thanks for the adviceim f.6 2016 dser and do i have level 4?

[ 本帖最後由 msted 於 2016-3-28 01:37 AM 編輯 ]

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not likely... your first two points are ok... but they can be clearer

and the third point does not have enough elaboration

at most lvl 3

but i think it is not an exam question, and so u dun need to feel bad



post any writing here and i will mark it if u hv time.
自學英文無難度!Learning English ON YOUR OWN!
Autodidact 自學者

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(should be "if i hv time") XDDD
自學英文無難度!Learning English ON YOUR OWN!
Autodidact 自學者

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