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ce07英文作文,請勁人入來睇下有無level2

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ce07英文作文,請勁人入來睇下有無level2

睇下有無level2,thx,我好想英文合格 請罵得就罵,唔洗俾面
Many people said'It is more important to be clever than beautiful or handsome.'In my opinion
,I thought that is wrong.Now i will declare my point.

First,i think appearances are very important for people.A great appearance have many benefits.
When you have a well face,you must have many confidence than other guys.Also you maybe can
meet more boy or girl friends,because in this period,many persons are only like to look
handsome boys or beauty girls.So those in the world were had many discount such as when you
is a pretty girl while was going to shopping,almost male boss will give you a discount.

Secondly,more and more person want to take your mobile phone number and msn number so you will
easy than other common guy to meet friends.In addition,accroding to the results,the fact is
handsome boys or pretty girls are feels gald than other persons.

Thirdly,a well faces can found money easily.When you are good-looking guys,you can be are
models,also you can become are stars and have more and more money.Such as edison chan,he is a
handsome boy,so he can find more monry and meet considerable girls.

The last but not least,I think well apperonce is important than clever for people.Beacuse
clever people will think so many diffcult problems and make them so unhappy.

[ 本帖最後由 卍龍少卍 於 2009-5-2 12:19 PM 編輯 ]
   

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太多gramma 錯啦
仲要好basic既野
例如 you are 變左you is

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你要正反都講嫁=.=
講下clever有咩好同唔好

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In my opinion,I thought
  88==錯佐沒論    gramma錯到7彩  咩you   can  become (are) stars==
總有 first,second,thridly 呢d字太簡單啦 上網搵其他  example,  after that

[ 本帖最後由 ken19875 於 2009-5-2 12:14 PM 編輯 ]

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請問點improve grammar呢?

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引用:
原帖由 ken19875 於 2009-5-2 12:11 PM 發表
In my opinion,I thought
  88==錯佐沒論    gramma錯到7彩  咩you   can  become (are) stars==
總有 first,second,thridly 呢d字太簡單啦 上網搵其他  example,  after that
請問根據我的意見點寫禁 i think o唔ok呢

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hkcee話 唔可以一用嫁  一定In my opinion,.......  一係 I think xxxx 唔可以2者共存
你可以寫 i think this is wrong
其實你d生字都唔錯 係文法真係要注意下==

[ 本帖最後由 ken19875 於 2009-5-2 12:47 PM 編輯 ]

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你想level 2 都幾難
連simple english usage都錯
【DSE Maths】中大教育文憑 × 數學系畢業◆助你奪*升Lv~
首次以課題分班,10月開班招生,快d黎睇下~

導師簡介:按此進入

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引用:
原帖由 傑Simon 於 2009-5-2 12:54 PM 發表
你想level 2 都幾難
連simple english usage都錯
請問點improve呢

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回覆 #9 卍龍少卍 的帖子

基本野,,,唯有靠做多d ex.
【DSE Maths】中大教育文憑 × 數學系畢業◆助你奪*升Lv~
首次以課題分班,10月開班招生,快d黎睇下~

導師簡介:按此進入

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想合格總有機會既 加油==!

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唔講grammar
content我都會俾好低分

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It is believed that wisdom is much more important than appearances. In my opinion
, this is wrong.Now i will declare my point.

1. 唔好用MANY PEOPLE SAID.
因為MANY PEOPLE SAID比個人個感覺好似係直接中文轉英文咁.
加上你第一句比人個印象唔好, 一開始就已經輸哂.
另外你可以試下用 much more去加強語氣.

2. 仲有, [In my opinion]同i think 個意思差唔多,
盡量唔好一齊用, 因為一齊用的話會比人一個好累贅ga感覺.

3. 橙色果句呢, 又係有d中文feel.
與其寫[in my opinion, this is wrong]
不如寫In my opinion, i don't agree.
你覺得呢句低lv, 你可以寫:
In my opinion, I strongly disagree.
Strongly就係贏ga位啦.

4. 另外, 你最後果句, [now i will declare my point.]
呢句, 感覺好奇怪.可能有錯又可能冇錯.  <-廢話-_-
如果我係你, 我唔會寫呢句.
因為寫一d唔肯定佢o岩定錯ge野對自己冇好處.
我會寫:
Why? There are 3 reasons.



Without doubt, appearances are very important for us.A good appearance will bring us many benefits.
If you got a good appearance,you must be many confidence than other guys.

1. 樓上果幾位都有提過, 你成篇都係咁用first, second, third.
會比人一個好沉悶ge感覺.
不斷用呢d字絕對impress唔到個考官.
不妨試下用without doubt,
或者用with no doubt,
再唔係, 你叻d就用with no hesitation,
3組字都係解一樣意思.

2. 你原本果句係:
[First, I think appearances....]
我ge建議就係,
唔好用i think.
因為你呢篇應該係屬於議論性質.
用i think會減弱左個說服力 同埋篇文ge可信性.

3. 有關橙色地帶.
用very important唔係錯.
只不過very important已經話左比個考官知,
你唔係一個英文叻ge學生.
問題係important呢個字.
係成篇文入面出現左幾次.
所以我唔建議你用.
你不妨試下用一d同義詞.
important=essential=vital=crucial
但係用後面果d字千祈唔好用very.

4. for us...for people?
for people嘛, 呢個terms比人ga感覺又係好中文feel.
唔建議用. 同埋gramma都好似唔係好o岩.

5. a great appearance?
唔好笠亂用great.
呢度應該係用a good appearance.
仲有, [a good appearance have many benefits.]
錯係個have字度.
應該係will bring us
呢句又係錯中文英文

6. 有關個when字.
呢道個when字意思好似用錯左.
應該用if好d.
另外提一提.
唔好用死個when字.
可以試下用whilst/while.

7. have a well face.
[well face?]-__-
got a good appearance
錯中文英文

8. 個must字.
應該唔算錯ga. 但係我建議寫任何文都唔好用個must字
點解? 因為must字比人一種好命令ge feel.
所以唔好亂用.

9. many....than (藍色果度)
樓主請你交文前一定一定要proofread左先.

10. 有關guys.
個考官同你好熟?
點解要叫人GUYS?-_-
GUYS 係INFORMAL LANG.
係呢皇FORMAL GE文入面最好唔好出現.
應該改做...THAN THE OTHERS


唔打哂佢啦.
樓主你主要係衰中文英文.
記住, 寫中文同寫英文係兩件唔同GA事.
就算你想用中文諗一諗D POINT都唔好.
咁樣會令你好易出錯.
冇錯, 我地華人睇返好易明白,
但係如果個撞正個鬼佬改你就死啦.
有錯勿插.

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講真...依家要improve 的只好睇返老師幫你改果啲文...睇吓自己錯咩..

PS..#2,#4 連grammar都串錯仲話人

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睇返你學校既文吧
應該有寫底錯d乜
時日無多,你只能死記,語文好難一朝一夕有大進步
其實我覺得lv2無問題=.=
因為我見lv1果d文仲衰過樓主
全部寫point的= =

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