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[Eng] 大家估下我呢篇eng writing Lv.幾

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大家估下我呢篇eng writing Lv.幾

2014 DSE Paper2 PartA
1.The Local History Newsletter is a newsletter about the history of Hong Kong.Every month, it prints short articles about special places in Hong Kong. You have been asked to write an article about an old village called Lucky Village.Write your article using the three headings provided.Yong can use the headings in any order
- Life in Lucky Village 40 years ago
- An event that changed Lucky Village
-What Lucky Village is famous for



What Lucky Village is famous for
Lucky Village is famous for its 'Lucky Tea'. 'Lucky Tea' is so magical that when people have a fever,they recover without taking any medicine as they drink the 'Lucky Tea'. So popular is 'Lucky Tea' that many people flock to Lucky Village to buy it.Do you know what is the story beyond 'Lucky Village'?

Life in Lucky Village 40 years ago
Life in Lucky Village 40 years was etirely different compare with today's. Residents lived under poverty, with fishing and farming being their major bread and butter. In spite of their poverty,they think it was a luck as they could always gather with their families so this village was named 'Lucky Village'. Today, Lucky Village becomes a tourist destination because of an event changed Lucky Village.
An event that changed Lucky Village
There was an event that changed Lucky Village. Once,many people got fever somehow. Then,a dog called Lucky,who unearthed some tea-leaves in the farm due to its handy smell.Lucky gave the tea-leaves to its owner and its owner used the tea-leaves to make some teas for the residents to drink. No sooner had they drunk the tea than all of them recovered.It sent shockwaves across all regions of Hong Kong immediately. Henceforth the Lucky Village becomes a renouned places and many people go to buy 'Lucky Tea'.
   

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回覆 1# Deerlu1990 的帖子

So popular is 'Lucky Tea' that
It is intended to be an inversion, however, under the special sentence pattern,
it can only be " it is so (adj.) that"
In view of the limited content, This essay can at most pertain Level 3

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Lv2 太多強行用嘅phrase 同埋好多grammar 錯左,仲有唔明點解一段可以repeat 4 次lucky tea( 你果段已經短。仲repeat 會比人睇到你詞窮)



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Thx for all of your comments This writing is level 5* marked by two tutors of Mordern Education  One of the tutor has sent the corrected version of this writing to me.If you are interested in,you can pm me and I will send it to you

[ 本帖最後由 Deerlu1990 於 2015-10-28 06:19 PM 編輯 ]

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OMG, L5* ????
AK47

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Definitely not 5*Your essay is way too short -> content is weak (at best you can get 3/7)
Langauge: the words 'lucky tea' has been repeated too many times -> lack of vocabulary; a number of grammatical mistakes can be observed (at best you can get 3/7)
Organisation: won't be high (at best 3/7)

Total: 9/21 (Level 2-3)

Trust me, I am an experienced marker

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come on how come this gets 5*

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I think this writing has level 3, but level 5* is incredible. I suggest you should find another reliable marker to mark your writing because I think there are some problems with your writing.

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9-10/21 ---------->level 3

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既然你相信係5*就唔洗post上黎..

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In my opinion, those markers from Modern Education only gave you a 5* as an encouragement.They are, trying to convince you that,  inserting those vocabulary and language patterns taught in their tutorial lessons into your essay brings you a higher grade.
The content is, patently, too weak to attain a 5* and grammatical errors abound in your essay.
The marks given by tutors can be taken as a reference, but never a report card of your abilities.

[ 本帖最後由 yingjaiv0v 於 2016-4-12 09:33 PM 編輯 ]

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最高3普通2

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