標題: [Eng] 2012 Practice Paper Part B Q4 求評 [打印本頁] 作者: mandimandy 時間: 2016-3-21 07:39 PM 標題: 2012 Practice Paper Part B Q4 求評
求狠評 底差好想改善先係度感激幫手評既各位 多謝晒
DSE Practice Paper Q.4 You recently read a letter to the editor of the Hong Kong Express which said that songs which contain foul language have a negative influence on society. However, you believe we all have the right to freedom of speech and these songs are just a means of expression. Write a reply to the editor expressing your views.
DearEditor,
I amwriting in regard to the letter published on 1st April on your newspaper, whichexpressed the opinions that 'songs contain foul language have a negativeinfluence on society'. However, I am opposed to this belief as we are entitledto the freedom of speech, and these lyrics are a means of expression.
Listeningto music becomes prevailing and trendy in nowadays, and indeed lyric is a vitalpart of a song as an expression, which will draws people's attention. When wegive a look on the lyrics of pop songs, it is not uncommon to find some foullanguage from the lyrics. Hence, some people may disapprove it as foul languageusually gives people a negative impression of rude and impolite, and think thatsongs contain foul language raise ethical and educational concerns on society.Nevertheless, what should not be neglect are that, lyrics contain foul languageis just an emotional expression, and the majority of people are capable todistinguish right and wrong.
To startwith, foul language contained in songs is a way to emphasis emotions and strikeresonance. Everyone in our society is given freedom of speech, we have right toexpress our feelings and opinions using any method. For musicians, they usesongs to express, foul language in sons may imply their extreme emotions, suchas pleasure, frustration and inflammation, it can strengthen the expression andthus is easier for listeners to feelwhat they are trying to express. In short, foul language in songs is not alwaysmeaning rude and impolite, but is a mean of expressing different feelings. Itis not about humiliating others but is about sharing emotions with others.Hence, I don't think songs that contain foul language bring negative influenceon the society.
What ismore, songs that contain foul language are not inevitably lead to a horrifyingphenomenon that people will learn and speak foul language. It is known that somepeople may be argued that songs with foul language will erect a mistaken notionthat speaking foul language is prevalent and fashionable on the society,especially affecting those mentally immature teenagers. However, as pop music ismostly targeted at teenagers and adults, who have already be educated foryears, I believe that they can classify right and wrong from the education infamilies and schools. Even if teenagers are not mature enough and unfortunatelyaffected by those songs, they will be educated by parents and teachers soon. Itis more effective to educating people when they go astray rather than censoringundeserved things and isolating people from them. Thus, I think songs containedfoul language are not as evil as some people think.
Theremay have contradictory idea that songs that have foul language will bring harmfulimpacts to society as foul language usually covey negative meanings and if itis contained in songs, it may be encouraged. Although we have freedom of speech,it does not mean that foul language is generally acceptable by the public. Undoubtedly,foul language is not a positive thing to be encouraged in the society. However,it is also not necessarily means something bad. If it is contained in songs toexpress feelings but not abuse others, it is just a normal and simpleexpression that will not harm the society.
Whether songswhich contain foul language have negative influence on society or not, I believethat it is depended on person, that is, those songs are not essentially badlyaffect the society. To prevent negative effects from those songs, education areimportant. It is hoped that the music development can keep booming and betolerated by the public even the songs contain something that seem to be "disgusting"in the present society as they are just a way of expression.
I am writing in RESPONSE to the letter published on 1st April IN your newspaper, which expressed the opinion that 'songs containING foul language have a negative influence on society'. However, I am opposed to this belief as we are entitled to the freedom of speech, and these lyrics are a means of expression.
Listening to music HAS become prevailing and trendy in nowadays [when talking about recent trends use present perfect], and indeed lyric is a vital part of a song as A FORM OF expression, PLAYING AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN drawING people's attention. When we [TAKE a look AT] the lyrics of pop songs, it is not uncommon to find some foul language IN the lyrics. Hence, some people may disapprove OF THE SONG, as foul language usually gives people a negative impression of rudeNESS and impoliteNESS [run-on, vague meaning]. **Songs containING foul language HENCE HAVE raiseS ethical and educational concerns IN THE society. Nevertheless, what should not be neglect IS that, lyrics containING foul language ARE just A FORM emotional expression, {and the majority of people are [capable OF + -ing] distinguishING right and wrong.} --> the curly-bracketed sentence is strange. It's never expressed in English like this.
**(一樣物件引起迴響 VS 人們認為一樣物件引起迴響)
To start with, foul language [] in songs is a way to **emphasize emotions and strike resonance. Everyone in our society is given THE freedom of speech, we have right to express our feelings and opinions using any method [are you sure? Learn to hedge -- never say things too certain]. For musicians, they use songs to express THEIR THOUGHTS, AND foul language in sonGs may imply their extreme emotions, such as pleasure, frustration and ***FURY/ANGER. It can strengthen the expression and thus is easier for listeners to feel what they are trying to express. In short, foul language in songs is not always [] rude and impolite, but is a meanS of expressing different feelings. It is not about ***INSULTING others but is about sharing emotions with others. Hence, I don't think songs that contain foul language bring negative influence on the society.
** Compare: put emphasis on VS emphasize
*** Inflammation: 發炎...
**** Humiliating: Make someone embarrassed
What is more, songs that contain foul language DOES not inevitably lead to THE horrifying phenomenon OF PEOPLE PICKING UP THE FOUL LANGUAGES IN THE SONG. SOME people MAY ARGUE that songs with foul language will ESTABLISH a mistaken notion that speaking foul language is **[] fashionable In the society,especially affecting those mentally immature teenagers. ***However, as pop music is mostly targeted at teenagers and adults, who have already beEN educated for years, I believe that they can TELL THE RIGHTS FROM WRONGS from the education in families and schools. Even if teenagers are not mature enough and unfortunately affected by thEse songs, theIR SPEAKING FOUL LANGUAGE WILL BE STOPPED BY PARENTS OR TEACHERS SOONER OR LATER. ****It is more effective to educatE people when they go astray rather than censoring undeserved things and isolating people from them. Thus, I think songs containING foul language are not as evil as some people think.
**prevalent = a phenomenon that is very common. It is not something associated to image like being fashionable
***Logical fallacy: Pop songs target at teenagers and adults. Teenagers are mentally immature whereas adults have been educated for years. Teenagers have the ability to tell rights from wrongs?
****This is simply not right. The general belief is 預防勝於治療 an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
ON THE OTHER HAND, SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT songs that have foul language IN THEM will bring harmful impacts to THE society as foul language usually coveyS negative meanings IT IS CLAIMED THAT FOUL LANGUAGE IN SONGS MAY ENCOURAGE WRONG MINDSETS, AND FOUL LANGUAGE IS GENERALLY NOT ACCEPTABLE ALBEIT THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH IN HONG KONG. Undoubtedly, foul language is not a positive thing to be encouraged in the society. However,it is also not necessarily [] something bad. If it is contained in songs to express feelings but not USED TO ABUSE others, it is just a normal and simple expression that will not harm the society.
TO CONCLUDE, Whether THE songs contain foul language OR NOT DOES NOT MATTER. WHETHER PEOPLE GET NEGATIVELY AFFECTED OR NOT, IT ALL DEPENDS ON INDIVIDUALS.To prevent negative effects BROUGHT ABOUT BY those songs, education IS [uncountable] important. It is hoped that the musicAL development can keep booming and WILL be tolerated by the public even THOUGH the songs MAY contain something "disgusting" . In the present society, POP SONGS ARE JUST a way of expression.
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong 作者: bryanfu926 時間: 2016-4-1 07:05 PM 標題: General comments
其實你英文底晤算太差，不過小心以下既mistake:
1. 一個sentence clause只可以有一個verb, 有必要要用gerund
pop songs containing foul language are believed to be ....
"containing foul language" 用黎describe pop songs, "are believed to be" 先係 main verb, 所以要用ing
2. run-on sentence. 適當時加句號。如果句句子長到用正常與速一口氣讀晤完，咁已經有問題
3. IN THE society
