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[Eng] DSE english writing practice paper 求狠評+估level

DSE english writing practice paper 求狠評+估level


自己係band3 中中學生 自知英文比其他人差 但唔知自己係咩水平 拜託各位chings


Question:Recent survey demonstrate that more and more university graduates do not seeteaching as a desirable occupation. Write a letter to the editor of the SCMPexplaining why teaching is now considered as an attractive profession andsuggesting some changes with which the situation can be improved. Do not writeany address.




DearSir/Madam,
As a regular reader inyour columns. I am writing to you about in a recent survey found that more andmore university graduates do not see teaching as a desirable occupation. Thus,I want to through this channel to share this serious situation to draw thepublic attention. It is surprising that for now being a teacher is a thanklesstask. Hence, I would like to reveal the reasons for this evil situation andsuggest a few ways to improve the problem.

In the first place, the lack of graduateswilling to join with the teaching family. You can imagine that how the currentteachers are facing over the workload that they are always leaving very late atthe school. Therefore, many and many people after graduate in some educationaldegree programs. They lose faith in a teaching career as they are returningtheir future career from teaching to other industries. The major one being theyare afraid after being a teacher they will face over the workloads. This isdefinitely a vicious circle that no one willing to join with the teacherindustry and then the current teachers keep continuous to handle the heavy dutyworks.


A further point in explaining the misbehaviorand poor learning attitude of some students make teachers angry and stress out.Sad to say many students have a bad behavior that bully their teachers in thesocial network. It is patent to anyone knows that last week most of thenewspapers’ handling was talking about one of the teacher was suffered from thestudent cyber bullying and as a result he was stressed out and then choosing theimproperly way to end of his life. The case has reinforced many peoples’ decisionfor choosing the educational career. In light of this, many people think thatteaching is no longer to be relaxing occupation, but a stressful job for them.


However teacher is one of the major roles inteaching teenagers how to prepare to become a successful citizen in thesociety. We have to stop the problem spreading before it is too late. It istime for the government and the schools to take prompt action steeling theproblem.


There are many things calling out to be done.As a first step, the government should implement the policies, including carryingout more educational degree programs and increasing the number of the educatorsin order to reduce the workloads of each single teacher. Talks can be also as away to reduce the teachers’ pressure. In which government can make more talksto enlighten a proper ways to control with pressure.


Meanwhile, for the schools with, continuousties between student and teacher can make their relationship more friendly andclosely. It is suggested that more teacher-student activities ranging from somegames and competitions such as overnight camp and sport competitions betweenthemselves. Not only it helps them to improve their relationship, but it isalso a great opportunity for them to contact and communicate to each other. Bydoing so, students would be more complied with the teachers’ instructions andshow respect for their teachers as a result.


All in all, if we can take both advices, Ibelieve that teaching will become a desirable occupation. And they will getmore satisfaction in their duty works.


Yoursfaithfully,
ChrisWong
   

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Didn't read thoroughly, but you have to work on your skills in writing topic sentences, which should contain the idea or argument that you are going to elaborate.

e.g. In the first place, the lack of graduateswilling to join with the teaching family.

This is more like a consequence than a reason, and you should remember that you are writing to explain the trend but not to identify the consequences of the trend. Though you did touch on the reason in the same paragraph, I am quite confused when I read on and I wonder whether you understood the purpose of writing.

And you should revise some basic sentence structures like inversion, which you used it wrong in the article.
I can also see your vain attempts to evade the use of common expressions. My suggestion is stick to what you are most certain about because this won't expose what you don't know to readers.

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