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[Eng] Eng writing 求評

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Eng writing 求評

勞煩大家幫手評一評如果我dse咁作會咩grade

The following headline and sub-heading appeared in today’s newspaper about an event that happened yesterday morning: Accident forces MTR to suspend services. Passenger wait one hour for train. You are a newspaper journalist who was caught up in this situation. Write an article about what happened. Use the following three headings to write the article.

Key information about the accident

Yesterday, during morning rush hours, a guide dog was accidentally hit by a tide of people into the railway at Kowloon Tong station. Police, firemen and ambulance attendants were immediately called for assistance. Trains were not allowed to enter the railway. The incident had led to suspension of services for an hour. Hong Kong Guide Dog Association (HKGDA) urged the MTR for apology and reply. The Government refused to comment on the incident as it was still under investigation.

Detailed information, causes and scene

Yesterday was a busy Saturday. The entire Kowloon Tong station was filled with passengers. The second platform, direction of heading to Sheung Shui, was especially crowded. Families, adolescents, parallel good traders were waiting for trains. Such crowded platform made it nearly impossible to squeeze in. Meanwhile, a blind man, named Jack, was taking the escalator the the second platform with his guide dog. Originally, Jack was on his way to church at Fanling. Nevertheless, when he arrived the platform, he heard noises from the surrounding. Thus, he instantly realised that the platform was too crowded. He decided to leave. Yet, as he turned around, more and more passengers pushed him and his dog from behind, demanding him to move forward for more space. Jack was not able to leave the platform. Instead, he was being pushed from people around him. Never did he anticipate such strong momentum, he carelessly lose the dog’s lead, which separates Jack and his dog. Despite shouting for help from Jack, no one was able to hear so. Suddenly, an unknown force pushed his guide dog even further away, ultimately, pushed the dog into the railway. According to one of the passenger, who claim to visualise the accident, says that everyone at that moment was so shocked and stopped pushing all of a sudden. A man immediately urged the staff to stop any incoming train and called the police. Despite the police being called, more passengers are even worried about the physical condition of the guide dog.

Consequences, short and longer-term

Police, firemen, and ambulance attendants were called for help. After making sure there was not any incoming train, a fireman went down and take the dog back up. One of the passenger, who claimed to be a vet, volunteered to check if the dog was fine. It was  a genuine fortune neither did the dog break its legs nor its arms. In spite of it good physical condition, the guide dog was still sent to Teresa Hospital for medical check. Jack also got on the ambulance to accompany his guide dog. The accident has led to delay in train service for an hour. Despite the suspension of services, no passengers complained. Instead, a big round of applause was given to the MTR staff for immediate response and wise decision. Several passengers praised the MTR and said that MTR did well under contingency. On the other hand, HKGDA condemned and urged the government for legislation on maximum capacity of a platform and better crowd control by the MTR. Both the MTR and the Government has not responded.
   

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推一推._.



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Lv5* add oil

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One of the passenger --> 少左s

very nice!
自學英文無難度!Learning English ON YOUR OWN!
Autodidact 自學者

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