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[院校討論] [help]求情信(plea letter)

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[help]求情信(plea letter)

各位ching,唔該幫下手,我GPA差0.02先過conditional offer,所以我寫左封求情信,希望各位ching幫幫忙,比d意見改下 THX


Dear Professor XXX:

My name is XXX and I am an non-jupas applicant of Accountancy in POLYU. I am writing to apologize for my unsatisfactory academic result, which might lead to lose my conditional offer, and to implore an opportunity to further my study.

I am sorry that I did not perform well in my study due to joining excessive business competitions which I did not realize it was unaffordable to me. During my last semester in HKUSPACE, I joined ACCA and HKIAAT business competitions, which I thought they will better show my skills and passion in Accounting. However, after I finished them, everything was too late. I cannot catch up my academic study. This was a regrettable decision which I should take the full responsibility of it because I had been advised to be more concentrated on my own study. As a result, my GPA cannot pass the conditional offer.

However, I hope you can give me a chance to further my study. Accounting has always been my favourite subject after I getting into HKUSPACE. I always enjoyed number crunching, working out calculations and the opportunity these activities gave me to exercise my mind like never before. For me the most interesting part of accountancy is the problem solving aspect, I always get a little excited when I have solved a problem or figured out why an account does not balance. I feel that its a combination of all these factors which have really attracted me to this subject.

Therefore, I sincerely hope that you could offer me a place to study Accounting in Polyu. If I were granted this valuable opportunity, I would be extremely thankful and devote more time on my study to prove that I am worthy of getting this place.

Please accept my apology and consider my earnest appeal. I look forward to hearing from you and having the chance to discuss my situation with you.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours sincerely,
   

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先唔講內容 / 誠懇既程度,Google "Grammarly" check 下grammar先...

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首先 點解要apologise for your result apologise通常係做錯某件事先會用 你考得唔好你既事 又唔關U事 你同佢apologise有咩用?
另外 你都識講係你既responsibility但你又將考得唔好既責任推落活動到 前後茅盾 正常唔係應該諗左先再去既咩? 建議你將有關比賽既篇幅縮小 雖然我唔係大學收生既人 但從旁聽者既角度 我對你點解參加比賽同點樣拉低成績冇興趣
第三 我唔知你所講對accounting既興趣係真定假 如果係假既 至少寫真小小啦... 有邊個讀accounting係鐘意計數 鐘意計數點解唔走去讀math
第四 你提及如果你可以入到U 你會放更多時間去學習 呢個唔係學生應有既本分咩?
第五 如果你係因為課外活動而失分 與其解釋點解你比如期低分 不如吹多D活動入面你得到D咩
最後 至少CHECK下你D GRAMMA 用詞等先放出黎啦... 校名至少打1次全寫都好啦...

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