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[Eng] Dse writing 求改 please

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Dse writing 求改 please

平時平均13 marks
2016 Q4 Learning English through Debating

It has recently been reported that some parents in Asian countries are installing apps on their children’s mobile phones that monitor their activities to ensure that they use theses devices responsibly.
Write a letter to the Young Post stating whether you agree with these parents’ actions or not. Justify your position with three reasons.

Dear Editor,
    As a regular reader who takes heed on all matters that relate to young people.From reading newspaper,I observed that some parents in Asian countries would install apps on their children’ mobile phone in order to monitor their activities and ensure they to use it responsibly. For me,I totally advocate with these parents’ actions.As following,I would exhaust three reasons why I argue this stance.
    The very  first reason is this actions can ensue children to build true values.It’s the well-known fact that internet is full of harmful information .Namely is sex or force.If children are prolonged to assimilate this information,it would affect them to cultivate some wrong values .Such as fighting others is correct thing,that is very dangerous. As we know,parents plays a vital role on protecting children during they are maturing .Thereby,parents are incumbent to avoid their children to learn something that is adverse to personal development of children.When they installed apps to monitor children’ activities,parents can know what children would do through mobile phone.Therefore,they can stop the children to read unprofitable information at any time .It’s a very efficient way to protect children that can cultivate  correct thought undoubtedly.
   Not only this action can ensure children to build some right thought and values ,but also can prevent them to attack others.As we know ,cyberbullying has long been a splitting headache .A plenty of report reflect that the majority of cyberbullying incident were caused by teenagers .Why always them? That since they are bad atself_control and they guess that they do not need to shoulder responsibilities for internet actions.As a result ,parents provide enough supervision,their children would not be brave to cyberbully other people since they scary that their parents would blame them.In fact ,parents actions can protect others’ safety and hinder their children to break the law.Thereby,Surely do I agree with these parents.
    Some claim that install apps on their children’ mobile phone ,that is unreasonable as this actions would corrode their family relationship.Plus,their children may think parents don’t trust them ,give freedom to them  and deprive their privacy of power .Unfortunately ,children would have similar views.Nevertheless ,this situation just happens on lacking communication between parents and children.As long as we can let children to identify why parents need to do so,it would not damage their relationship.Because children understand that parents’ action in order to love them and don’t be willing to see some miserable matter that happen on their children.Such as children are caught by police due to cyberbully others.Therefore,obviously,I support these parent’ action.
     To sum up,most parents would not hurt their kid .Sometime people think parent’ actions are incorrect ,as they do not know the purposes of actions clearly.Like this matter ,Parents’ action is national because their action is beneficial to their children.Therefore,I agree with these parents' action
   

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