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小弟一篇劣作..

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小弟一篇劣作..

There have been a lot of stories and photographs of celebrities acting inappropriately on the newspaper recently. Write a letter to the editor saying why it is important for the celebrities to be good role models.
Write about 250 words. You do not need to write and address for the sender or the recipient.

Dear editor,

In recent years, there were a lot of stories and photographs of celebrities acting inappropriately on the newspaper. I think that the inappropriated acting of celebrities will affect the public in negative.



In Hong Kong, the pop star, artists also named as celebrities. There are some of celebrities are acting inappropiated such as So Wing Hong and Nicholas Tse.



So Wing Hong have been arrested during a drug-raid in wave party. It is a great crime of the person stored drugs. At that time, So Wing Hong was a quite famous star. His fans’ reaction were so great, they thought that the polices shouldn’t arrest So Wing Hong. However, the polices were arresting him reasonable. So that the celebrities, here stand for So Wing Hong, affected the public so much.




There is another celebrity, Nicholas Tse. He drove his private car and happened an accident. He wasn’t willing to face the responsibility on law. Then he found his assistant to replace his driver position. Unfortunately, someone knew that and noticed to the polices. Lastly, Nicholas Tse was judged into prison.



Moreover, the acting of celebrities can be affect public very much. The fans usually think that their idols are perfect in the world. If the public haven’t the abilities of judgement, the consequence can be much serious.




Hope you can agree my opinion!

Your sincerely,

(Sgnature)

Chris

=========================分隔線==============================

小弟去年CE english writing得Lv2.. 故希望各路高人可以幫幫我improve下.. thzz晒!!

   
Don't give up anything you wanna own!!Abc

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(Sgnature)

串錯字
signature

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Your sincerely?
Yours sincerely!!??
比editor真係sincerely??

[ 本帖最後由 阿烽~ 於 2007-11-17 11:28 AM 編輯 ]
睇我的介紹個網好正~

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回覆 #3 阿烽~ 的帖子

yours faithfully

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題目係:why it is important for the celebrities to be good role models.
why你係咁講d example出黎?

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Dear editor,

In recent years, there were a lot of stories and photographs of celebrities acting inappropriately on the newspaper. I think that the inappropriated acting of celebrities will affect the public in negative. (盡可能唔好照抄個題目落篇作文度)



In Hong Kong, the pop star, artists also named as celebrities. There are some of celebrities are acting inappropiated such as So Wing Hong and Nicholas Tse.



So Wing Hong have been arrested during a drug-raid in wave party(係RAVE PARTY). It is a great crime of the person stored drugs(我自己個人認為呢一句有d怪怪地,應該唔係用OF但係應該點改我又唔係好肯定=口=). At that time, So Wing Hong was a quite famous star. His fans’ reaction were so great(港式英文吧?REACTION唔係用GREAT去形容的), they thought that the polices shouldn’t arrest So Wing Hong(唔駛So Wing Hong咁多次ge,感覺上你好似係霸字數多d). However, the polices were arresting him reasonable(第一應該係用reasonably而唔係reasonable,第二我自己覺得用reasonable個感覺好怪,用lawfully個d好似會好d). So that the celebrities, here stand for So Wing Hong, affected the public so much(呢句感覺好累贅,你一開始就講緊So Wing Hong唔駛專登寫番你呢度講緊So Wing Hong ge,而且你呢段ge大前題係想帶出論點:一d出名ge公眾人物係社會好有影響力先對吧?而且affected the public so much又係怪怪地,不過呢個係個人主觀感覺,唔駛理我XD).




There is another celebrity, Nicholas Tse. He drove his private car and happened an accident. He wasn’t willing to face the responsibility on law(印象中responsibility好似唔係用on的,不過唔係好肯定Orz). Then he found his assistant to replace his driver position(我覺得replace the driver position with him會好d). Unfortunately, someone knew that and noticed to the polices. Lastly, Nicholas Tse was judged into prison(judged好似唔會用into,不過都係唔係肯定Orz其實可以用judged guilty).



Moreover, the acting of celebrities can be affect public very much(係can affect唔係can be affect,就想係用can be都要跟AFFECTED而唔係affect,所以應該係The public can be affected by the acting of celebrities,而且我覺得very much又係怪怪地,不過純粹個人感覺啦). The fans usually think that their idols are perfect in the world. If the public haven’t the abilities of judgement(點都唔會係haven't啦,係都寫don't have吧?), the consequence can be much serious(唔駛用much吧).

Hope you can agree my opinion!(唔知點解我覺得用will會好d,可能係我ge習慣吧?唔駛理的XD)
                                                                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                              Yours sincerely,

(Sgnature)


Chris

你知道收件人個姓乜先會用sincerely,否則係用FAITHFULLY的

個人認為樓主用詞唔夠多元化

係咁多喇~

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Good Try!
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  • 逆旋 論壇積分 -2 請勿推舊帖,謝謝合作 2008-11-24 06:28 PM

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