本區搜索:
Yahoo!字典
打印

改eng writing,THX!

[隱藏]

改eng writing,THX!

Many oversea visitors think of Hong Kong as only being busy city. However, it has some beautiful country parks. Some people think the government should do more to promote these parks to visitors who come to Hong Kong.
Discuss the argument for and against this, and then give your own view.

Hong Kong’s tourism needs to be more comprehensive. We should show to the visitors not only our urban area, but also the beautiful country side. Hence, I firmly support the government to promote some country parks to the visitors. The key features are including financial benefits and enhancing people’s eco-awareness.

To begin with, promoting beautiful country parks can stimulate tourism and attract the tourists to come to Hong Kong. I think that visitors would wonder why there are so beautiful country parks in this minor city. Furthermore, we could develop some commercial activities in it and we can make some profits, such as food shop or selling souvenir. There would be great economic benefits on this project.

Apart from the economic concern, to promote the country parks can aware people to protect these beautiful environment. For example, Mai Po is a good nature reserve for the government to promote to where are a lot of birds and natural view. While we develop the country parks, it can alert the masses to need to maintain the nature.

Every coin has two sides, promoting the country parks may disturb the ecological environment. After we promote to the tourists, it may increase the amounts of visitors to go to the parks. Sometimes it seems harm to destroy the habits of the animal. Thus, government should have criteria on assessment and planning before parks promotion. For example, restrict the flow rate of visitors.

All in all, we would have many benefits on promoting country parks. However, ecological environment also is important to concern. As long as not to bother the nature, this project could be successful.
   

TOP

Hong Kong’s tourism needs to bemore comprehensive. We should show to the visitors not only our urbanarea
, but also the beautiful country side(one word? countryside). Hence, I firmly support thegovernment to promote some country parks to the visitors. The keyfeatures(features? reasons? not so clear) are including("including" is unnecessary) financial benefits and enhancing people’seco-awareness.
(注意 你AND之前用NOUN 所以之後都要用NOUN) *financial benefits and the enhancement of people's eco-awareness

To begin with, promoting beautifulcountry parks can stimulate tourism and attract the(no need "the") tourists to come toHong Kong. I think that visitors would wonder why there are so(missing some words? many? so many?)beautiful country parks in this minor(not really proper to describe a city as minor @@ may be "small"?)  city. Furthermore, we coulddevelop(don't know if develop is a good verb for activities, may be use organize is better) some commercial activities in it and we can make some profits(uncountable no S),such as (^from) food shop or selling souvenir(the selling of souvenir, is better because you use NOUN before the OR). There would be great economicbenefits on this project.
*profit 我唸你講係$, 但你咁寫變左做profit = food shop souvenir

Apart from the economic concern(aspect? benefits? concern is not the very right word here),to promote the country parks can aware(aware is an adjective, it is common to say "to raise public's awareness) people to protect thesebeautiful environment. For example, Mai Po is a good nature reserve forthe government to promote to where(not sure about this, i think its "as there") are a lot of birds and natural views.While we develop(after while, "we are developing") the country parks, it can alert the masses(masses = people in society who do not have power or influence, not suitable here, use public) to need(to need not necessary) tomaintain(better to use protect or treasure)  the nature.

Every coin has two sides,promoting the country parks may disturb the ecological environment.After we have promoted to the tourists, it may(there may be)an increase in the amounts(used to describe THINGS, use number of is better) ofvisitors to go to(going) the parks. Sometimes it seems harmful to destroy thehabits of the animal(sometimes? it is a must!). Thus, government should have criteria onassessment(?? assessment?) and planning(plan) before parks' promotion. For example, to restrictthe flow rate of visitors.

All in all, we would have manybenefits on(by) promoting country parks. However, ecological environmentalso is(is also) important to concern(to be concerned). As long as not to bother the nature(As long as the project doesn't bother the nature), thisproject could be successful.

要清楚D vocab 既noun form, adj form 個d
同埋d vocab有d亂用, 係yahoo dict 查個d 個meaning係岩
但有時用係唔用既野上面.
eg satisfactory 同 satisfied 都解令人滿意
但satisfactory 用係物件上, satiefied用係人上面

TOP

回覆 #2 duckckpro 的帖子

we should use "number of visitors" instead of "amount of visitors"

===

other mistakes:

For example, to restrictthe flow rate of visitors.  [Fragment]

Don't use "All in all; I think it's banned.
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

TOP

引用:
原帖由 duckckpro 於 2009-5-7 12:59 AM 發表
Hong Kong’s tourism needs to bemore comprehensive. We should show to the visitors not only our urbanarea
, but also the beautiful country side(one word? countryside). Hence, I firmly support th ...
唔該曬你呀~真係好人~好詳盡!!
咁有咩GRADE呀?

TOP

咁有冇LV.2?

:'(

TOP

回覆 #5 yamazakiii 的帖子

跟p.chan 個grade system 的話,
1+/2-
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

TOP

it has some beautiful country parks.

咩題目黎架,,,,,,

TOP

重要聲明:小卒資訊論壇 是一個公開的學術交流及分享平台。 論壇內所有檔案及內容 都只可作學術交流之用,絕不能用商業用途。 所有會員均須對自己所發表的言論而引起的法律責任負責(包括上傳檔案或連結), 本壇並不擔保該等資料之準確性及可靠性,且概不會就因有關資料之任何不確或遺漏而引致之任何損失或 損害承擔任何責任(不論是否與侵權行為、訂立契約或其他方面有關 ) 。