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改eng writing,THX!

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Hong Kong’s tourism needs to bemore comprehensive. We should show to the visitors not only our urbanarea
, but also the beautiful country side(one word? countryside). Hence, I firmly support thegovernment to promote some country parks to the visitors. The keyfeatures(features? reasons? not so clear) are including("including" is unnecessary) financial benefits and enhancing people’seco-awareness.
(注意 你AND之前用NOUN 所以之後都要用NOUN) *financial benefits and the enhancement of people's eco-awareness

To begin with, promoting beautifulcountry parks can stimulate tourism and attract the(no need "the") tourists to come toHong Kong. I think that visitors would wonder why there are so(missing some words? many? so many?)beautiful country parks in this minor(not really proper to describe a city as minor @@ may be "small"?)  city. Furthermore, we coulddevelop(don't know if develop is a good verb for activities, may be use organize is better) some commercial activities in it and we can make some profits(uncountable no S),such as (^from) food shop or selling souvenir(the selling of souvenir, is better because you use NOUN before the OR). There would be great economicbenefits on this project.
*profit 我唸你講係$, 但你咁寫變左做profit = food shop souvenir

Apart from the economic concern(aspect? benefits? concern is not the very right word here),to promote the country parks can aware(aware is an adjective, it is common to say "to raise public's awareness) people to protect thesebeautiful environment. For example, Mai Po is a good nature reserve forthe government to promote to where(not sure about this, i think its "as there") are a lot of birds and natural views.While we develop(after while, "we are developing") the country parks, it can alert the masses(masses = people in society who do not have power or influence, not suitable here, use public) to need(to need not necessary) tomaintain(better to use protect or treasure)  the nature.

Every coin has two sides,promoting the country parks may disturb the ecological environment.After we have promoted to the tourists, it may(there may be)an increase in the amounts(used to describe THINGS, use number of is better) ofvisitors to go to(going) the parks. Sometimes it seems harmful to destroy thehabits of the animal(sometimes? it is a must!). Thus, government should have criteria onassessment(?? assessment?) and planning(plan) before parks' promotion. For example, to restrictthe flow rate of visitors.

All in all, we would have manybenefits on(by) promoting country parks. However, ecological environmentalso is(is also) important to concern(to be concerned). As long as not to bother the nature(As long as the project doesn't bother the nature), thisproject could be successful.

要清楚D vocab 既noun form, adj form 個d
同埋d vocab有d亂用, 係yahoo dict 查個d 個meaning係岩
但有時用係唔用既野上面.
eg satisfactory 同 satisfied 都解令人滿意
但satisfactory 用係物件上, satiefied用係人上面
   

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