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1. 1
 

1 (9.09%)

2. 2
 

0 (0.00%)

3. 3
 

0 (0.00%)

4. 4
 

1 (9.09%)

5. 5
 

7 (63.64%)

6. 5*
 

2 (18.18%)

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岩岩作左篇,請幫手評分,唔該哂~

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岩岩作左篇,請幫手評分,唔該哂~

Your aunt is a very critical and demanding mother. She is extremely angry at the poor academic performance of your cousin, Pat, who has just shared with you that s/he is very depressed and stressed. What would you say to your aunt? Write the letter and sign it ' Chris'.

Dear aunt,

       Hi aunt. I'm having nice days with my parents. How's your life with Pat? I'm sure that Pat is working hard to improve his
studies. So do I! I know you are very concerned about Pat's academic Performance, but this may build immense pressure on Pat.
      
       You are so serious towards Pat's studies because you hope he can succeed in his future career. Setting up goals can really
motivate Pat to work harder for progress. I know that pat really pays a lot of effort in studying and revising learning materials
every day. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that Pat must achieve academic excellence. I think this is already quite gratifying
to see him understand the importance of working hard. Continuously being unsatisfied with his result may not be the best way to
boost his studies. He may feel stressed and depressed since you don't seem to agree with his effort and you push him too much.
Aiming high is encouraging, but aiming too high does the reverse. If I were you, I would express my happiness of seeing him
working so hard and give him a hug! This is another way of motivation.
      
       Sometimes, this is difficult for Pat to work alone, me too. During these days, Pat may feel disheartened since he possibly thinks that you really don't like him( Actually you pretend to be so annoyed, right?), and the gap between you and himis widen. To
prevent the relationship from worsening, while Pat is struggling on his homework and textbook, you can give him some snacks or a cup of soft drinks to show your love. After he works for long time, you can ask him to take a rest and chat with him about his
friends in school or whatever topics not related to academy. Then, the stress on himwill be definitely alleviated. Alos, the relationship between you and him can be improved as he thinks that you are no longer oriented only about his study, but his whole life.
      
       Success may not be something more vital than family relationship. Though Pat may not be capable of achieving the goals
you've set, his huge effort made is appreciable and worthy of praise from you.
                                                                                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                                                  Love,
                                                                                                                                                                                  Chris


[ 本帖最後由 flycat 於 2009-5-7 09:00 PM 編輯 ]
   

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=.="..唔係唔洗hi果d野嫁咩??...
不太清楚

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*widened

*related to schoolwork

5*.. appropriate tone. good organization and content with few mistakes.

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我阿sir話very 唔好太亂用

I know you are very concerned about

very..唔會放在前面..
同埋are concerned..怪怪地


i like you very much
唔會i very like you= ="


thank you very much

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個tone幾appropriate
d內容都幾好,
5-5*啦

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Level 4-/5+

Several mistakes committed; those mistakes do really hurt your grade (from 5 to 4)
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

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