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09 ce.. writing.. 幫手評下grade.. thz

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09 ce.. writing.. 幫手評下grade.. thz

09年第2條.. 冇用EMAIL格式 會點? 同埋作呢條好似好多都係勁人= = 我會唔會奶野..

Dear Principal,

   

I am writing to express my views on the suitability of detention as a form of punishment. Personally, I would consider sending students to detention as proper and suitable.

Students are allowed to evaluate what they have done wrong during the quiet detention period. Detention should be conducted in the presence of the teachers concerned. It is important that during the period, the teachers should discuss with the punished students their wrongdoing and give them time to think about the consequences that may be brought. Only in this way can the purpose of detention be reached.


However, some students have been questioning teachers' right to detain students after school hours. But while they are grumbling about being detained, they never consider that their teachers need to spend additional time talking to them, during which they would have marked a lot of papers and prepared lesson materials. These students do not feel for their teachers at all, showing no intention of mending their misbehaviour.



Different forms of punishment have different effects. Sending students to detention serves more effectively to punish students with a high time value. Being detained means less time in entertainment. So, they would do better to avoid detention which takes away their free time.



It is obvious that detention is among the most appropriate forms of punishment. It allows students to rectify their wrongdoing. It should be ensured that the teachers involved talk to the punished students, instead of leaving them in the corridor outside the staff room. In this way, detention is an effective and suitable form of punishment.




Yours sincerely,


Chris Wong

   

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都幾fluent,無乜亂用vocab

如果用多d connectives會仲好

但係語氣好似重左d,好似中文咁,有專卑意識

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引用:
原帖由 surelose 於 2009-5-8 10:08 PM 發表
都幾fluent,無乜亂用vocab

如果用多d connectives會仲好

但係語氣好似重左d,好似中文咁,有專卑意識
冇乜亂用vocab.. 即係用錯左d咩= = 好驚

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Wrong format =.= 跌 grade x 1
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

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引用:
原帖由 7s711 於 2009-5-9 12:09 PM 發表
Wrong format =.= 跌 grade x 1
email係點架= = pastpaper好似未見過

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唔計其他
下款位己經錯左
POST 文者請注意: POST 之前請PROOFREAD 清楚

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引用:
原帖由 仇﹏恨。 於 2009-5-8 21:10 發表
我都係揀呢條,但我寫against果邊~
見你寫得咁好,我......@@
格式唯一唔同既係我下款寫響左邊~
PS:我寫detention isn't a suitable form of punishment. 先寫學生層面上如何唔suitable(2-3 paragraphs),
加左段呢個punishment 對於老師層面上又有如何影響以致not suitable.
(唔知得唔得呢?)

樓主, 加油!

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引用:
原帖由 7s711 於 2009-5-10 01:14 AM 發表
唔計其他
下款位己經錯左
我上年寫friendly letter 下款錯左都5*..
同埋我今次開新段有留位.. 但貼上黎copy and paste個陣去返最左

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引用:
原帖由 賢兄 於 2009-5-10 10:18 AM 發表


我都係揀呢條,但我寫against果邊~
見你寫得咁好,我......@@
格式唯一唔同既係我下款寫響左邊~
PS:我寫detention isn't a suitable form of punishment. 先寫學生層面上如何唔suitable(2-3 paragraphs),  ...
你呢種寫法應該organized過我個篇.. 我呢篇好似唔係好organized咁..
不過我驚寫not suitable marker會唔鐘意.. 但suitable又難寫..

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引用:
原帖由 仇﹏恨。 於 2009-5-10 11:45 發表

你呢種寫法應該organized過我個篇.. 我呢篇好似唔係好organized咁..
不過我驚寫not suitable marker會唔鐘意.. 但suitable又難寫..
我諗唔會掛~
都唔知自己有冇離題,最後俾d suggestions個principal~

嘩,你上年5*, 羨慕

PS:我用d  Vocab個 range冇你咁多bor @@ (sigh)

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