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HKDSE English Writing 求評

HKDSE English Writing 求評

(小弟冇錢補習.  請各位不斷插我篇文(負評愈多愈好), 順便投票la. 真係唔該大家!)

[HKDSEPractice Paper Paper 2 Part A]


For question 1, write about 200 words.
1. Your school is holding a walkathon toraise money for charity. Complete the following sections of the informationposter below to promote the walkathon and encourage students and their familiesto take part.
Annual Walkathon for Walk toBuild
Sunday 18 March 2012
Help to raise money to build schools in China


Why take part?
  Have you ever seen children inthe mainland picking up rubbish from a rubbish bin on TV? Given that theproblem of poverty is getting more and more serious in some provinces in China,ranging from Guangxi and Sichuan to Hainan, it is an omnipresent phenomenonthat many families are suffering from a poor living standard while manychildren do not have the opportunity to go to school – can we make adifference? As a part of our country, you and I definitely can help thosechildren through the means of education. Why don’t you join the AnnualWalkathon for Walk to Build so as to raise money to build schools in China?


The route of the walk
  Odds are that you are thinking ofthe length of the route at this moment. Considering the Primary School studentsin the Primary Section of our school, the route will be fairly short. We willstart from the Lok Fu MTR station. Then, we will walk along the Prince Road toour school gate on the Lion Rock Road.


The work of Walk to Build
  Of all the works of Walk toBuild, none are as significant as the building of schools in the mainland. Itis universally acknowledged that knowledge is the key to escape from the incomegap. Walk to Build has been building schools and hiring teachers in order toprovide quality educational services to the children in the poorer provinces.In this manner, more than 120 families has got rid of poverty since then. Onthe ground that the organization wants to expand the scheme, money is needed tobe raised.
  Therefore, our school is holdingthis walkathon to raise money. Before you participate on 18 March 2012, you arekindly reminded to ask your relatives and friends to donate. For each familymember participating, our school will donate $10.
  We sincerely invite you and yourfamily members to join us and lend a hand to the poor children in the mainland– so that they can live a new life! (331 words)
   

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