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[Eng] 求評分 給評語 Eng paper 2 part A

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求評分 給評語 Eng paper 2 part A

睇我的文 再評分 評語
chrome://external-file/Untitled%20document-1.pdf
5**
5*
5
4
3
2
1
Thanks
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[ 本帖最後由 Hhhhhgcbjjuhvb 於 2020-8-21 08:54 AM 編輯 ]
   

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*如用不到link,睇下面

Dear pat,
I have hear from you that you wanted a stuffed animal. I feel sad for you that you mum doesn’t want to buy it for you, however these is a couple of reasons. And I am hear to give to some advice.

First of all, what you need is to communicate with your mum. As I have mentioned above that there is many reasons for not buying a stuffed toy for you . You may find a suitable time, for example when your mother is happy, to ask her for the reasons. It may be the price of it too expensive, or it has no functions. But remember not to annoy your mum, or else she won’t buy you anything. It is vital to communicate will with your mum.

After knowing the reason behind, you can tell her the reason why you like it so much by writing her a letter. You can tell her the uniqueness, the benefits such as release stress etc. The most effective way to convince your mum is to write her a letter or essay telling her the reasons. When I was younger, I love toy cars very much. However my mum refuse to buy me one. Then I write her a letter telling her that the toy car can let me know the principal of how it woks. Then my mum let me buy the toy car. She buy it for me not only because she thinks it is useful, she is also pleased that I would write a passage from my own wish. Therefore your mum would think the same as my mum did and let you buy it.

Aside from writing a letter, you can give some suggestions. You can make suggestions base on the reasons your mum told you. If the reason is too expensive, you can advise her using some of you pocket money. You can also point out some conditions such having a high mark in exams or doing housework. These conditions may provide your mum a reasonable, considerable reason to buy you the stuff animal.

I am sure that you mum will buy you the stuff animal after you write her a letter and suggest conditions. Contact me again if you have any inquiry. I am looking forward to hear from you success.

Yours sincerely,
Chris Wong








[ 本帖最後由 Hhhhhgcbjjuhvb 於 2020-8-21 08:48 AM 編輯 ]

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Love it
Thx very much
I think it’s 5



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I think it's level 2-3

Content - primary school level (it's obvious if you read it in Chinese in your head)
Language - grammatical error in every other word.
But I can see some attempts to use advanced sentence structures (some used correctly). This will pull you towards level 3.

My suggestion: proofread your own work before posting it online.

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